“Did Dolly die?!”
"Did Dolly die?!"
Three words you never want to hear come out of your 4-year-old's mouth. But that's the first thing Hallie asked me the second I picked her up from school on Thursday.
The fact that my daughter feels like she's on a first-name basis with THE Dolly Parton tells you everything about what Dolly means in our house. Her books. Dollywood. Her music. But mostly, her kindness and her light.
I hadn't told Hallie yet. I wasn't ready. Not for another goodbye, not for explaining to my four-year-old that someone else we love had gone to heaven.
But the second she asked me that question, it hit me...
I may get to decide when I talk to Hallie about hard things. I don't get to decide when she's faced with them.
That's a parenting lesson I did not sign up for.
But it's a leadership lesson too.
How often do we avoid the hard conversation? Push it a day, a week, a quarter down the road? We sugarcoat it. We talk around the thing. And if we're honest, that route only ever serves us, never the person on the other side of it.
So I told her the truth. Yes, we lost Dolly.
And then something better happened. We talked about everything that doesn't go anywhere. Her music. Her people. Her love of "sparkle." The party she's probably throwing in heaven right now.
We both agreed we can “Be a Dolly” in the world to serve her memory well.
Three things I keep coming back to from that conversation:
Tell the truth first. Not the version that protects you, the real one.
Sit in the hard part together instead of rushing to fix it.
Look for what's still true and good on the other side, then say that part out loud too.
I was avoiding a hard conversation, and on the other side of it was a beautiful teaching moment. For her. And for me.
Avoiding the hard conversation never protects anyone, not your team, not your family, and not you.
So tell me, what's the hard conversation you've been putting off?
Big hugs & so much love,
Cassy
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